Crazy Stupid!

I have a cousin who is very afraid of his wife. She demanded he buy her a very expensive dress and he knew he couldn’t afford it, so he broke into the store to get it. He was arrested and the judge said, “It says here that you broke into the same store three times.” Yes, said the criminal, she made me exchange it twice.”


My wife is a wonderful woman, but bless her heart, she is terrible at buying clothes. It has nothing to do with her sense of style or fashion, its just that she won’t try on the clothes before buying them, unless I’m with her and force the issue.


So many times she’ll get the clothes home and they are either too large or two small. So that I don’t put my life in jeopardy, I will say that in most cases, they’re too large.

In any event, I always have to exchange them because she’s too embarrassed. So, like Ted Ginn Jr., I’m the return guy. If the item is too small, I used to encourage her to buy a larger size. After two stints in the emergency room, I don’t do that anymore.


I’m not sure what it is about that concept which drives women batty. Its not anyone will see the tag inside the garment. If they do, I’ll have to punch them out. So, if no one knows, what’s the big deal. She’ll look like a million bucks and end up feeling good about herself for all of the compliments she receives!

Back in the day, when I was selling women’s shoes, a lady came in the store and picked out a pair of shoes that she wanted. I asked if I could measure her foot and she said no, that she was a size six.


Looking at her feet, I could tell she was not a six. Maybe an eight. So I brought out the size eight. She tried them on and she said they fit perfectly. Then she looked at the size on the box. She flipped out! “I told you, young man, that I wear a size six! I always have and I always will!”

I went back in the stock room, used some solvent to erase the size printed on the inside of the shoes and put them in a size six box. She tried them on and told me that they were wonderful. Much better than the size eight. She became a regular customer and would only let me help her, so I had to do the same thing every time. Crazy.


Ladies, please try on your clothes before you purchase them and for heavens sake, own up to your shoe size. No one will judge you and your feet will feel so much better.

See you tomorrow.

Connect with me on:
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

See you tomorrow! Jerry


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