Football!

Even back in high school, everyone could tell I was a Miami Dolphin fan. When they handed me my diploma, I dropped it.

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It’s getting close to America’s NFL to begin! Like you, I live for opening day. Such high hopes for your favorite team. If they win, there’s a sense of euphoria. My team is undefeated and therefore indestructible. Super Bowl, here we come!

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Over the next 15 games, however, things can and will change. There will be bad calls from referees that will cost you the game. Your team’s coach will mismanage the clock. He’ll call three running plays and then punt. You’ll be yelling at the TV, “Why didn’t you pass?!?” @#?&*=!

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If they get a first down, however, the coach is a genius! He’s the master. He saw a weakness in their defense and exploited it. There is a very fine line between hero and goat. There will be the corner back who goes for the interception, misses and the result is an easy touchdown.

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There will also teams that dress in horrible throw back uniforms. Most look so absurd. You sit on the couch and wonder if the team’s management has gone mad.

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There will be a pro bowl (the NFL’s all star game), without the league’s top players. They’re getting ready for the Super Bowl. That’s ridiculous to me. Schedule it after the Super Bowl for two reasons. 1) It’s a horrible, high scoring game and 2) it lets us down easy, like the addict and methadone. It just makes no sense to play that game without the best of the best being able to play.

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I always feel sad when The NFL season ends. The fall classic (World Series) is in the books too. There’s still college football, but there are only so many option plays I can watch until I break down completely.

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It used to be that you could jump right from the NFL into American Idol, but that show is not the slugfest it used to be. It used to have more drama than the Miley Cyrus video.

American Idol was great when it was Simon, Paula and Randy. Oh, and Ryan Seacrest, who I can’t stand to watch, but loved his argumentative banter with Simon. It’s just not fun anymore.

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I have no idea when the soccer season starts or ends, but I’m slowly becoming a fan. I don’t understand hockey, with all of its penalties, sitting in a penalty box for two minutes? Really? Two minutes? That’ll teach ’em a thing or two. That’s a shorter time out than I gave my kids. Maybe they should take away the athlete’s television privileges for a month, or take their video games away for a couple of weeks.

Come on NFL! I can’t wait!

See you tomorrow.

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

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