Happy Earth Day! What the heck do you get the earth on its celebrated day? I thought maybe a new ozone layer but do you know how much those things cost? Way out of my price range. I guess just a recycled card. Earth day is ok I guess, but what purpose does it really … More What Do You Get A Planet That Has Everything???
Who is smarter, you or your dog? A psychologist is selling a video to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works… If you spend any money on the video the dog wins. Most dogs are very smart. Most can learn tricks and some of them are quite elaborate. They are much more aware of … More My Dog Is A Genius!!!
A recent (real) study found that the average American utters their first curse word of the day at 10:54 a.m. I know! Bull!! The average person is stuck in traffic long before that so it can’t possibly be true. I think most everyone hates a traffic jam. I think ‘Criminal Minds’ profilers have it all … More Get Out Of My Way!!!!
I went to see my doctor because I had a sore throat. He asked what was wrong but I could barely talk. He demanded that I speak louder. I said, “I’m sorry, I’m a little hoarse.” He said, “Sorry to be the one to break it to you but the resemblance doesn’t stop there.” The … More You’re A Jerk!!!
As a potential jurist, I was being questioned by one of the attorneys. The exchange went like this: “Own your home?” “Yes” “Married?” “Yes” “How long?” “20 years” “Do you have strong opinions and freely express them?” “Not in 20 years” I don’t know too many married men who express their feelings honestly and openly. … More I Can’t Think!!!
Last night I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. Heather and I have been married for 20 years now and I asked her if she would still love me when I’m old and fat. She said, “Don’t be ridiculous, Jerry. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years.” I think men and … More I’m Fat??? Really???
An elderly couple were out for a Sunday drive. The woman said, “Look at us. We used to sit right next to each other all of the time. Now you’re way over there and I’m way over here. What happened?” The man said, “I don’t know, I didn’t move.” I haven’t thought about that joke … More I’m Still Here!!!