Whenever I hear someone say “my hands are tied”, I want to throat punch them and really tie their hands behind their back. That way they won’t be tempted to lie again. Sadistic? Absolutely, but since most people think I’m already insane I’ll never have to explain myself. I hate it when people use that … More My Hands Are TIed!!!
I have a tradition and today is the day! Every year on November 6, I put on my tap dance shoes and go crazy. At least that’s what the police claim after my neighbor called them to do a welfare check. Ridiculous. I’m not even on welfare. I’m always impressed by people who can really … More Do What Again???
Many people talk about global warming, now others are convinced that we are headed toward another Ice Age. Come on guys, let’s all get on the same page. In the meantime, I’m going to put some icy hot cream on my brain and think about this. Some people don’t believe in either global warming or … More Hot Or Cold? You’re Driving Me Nuts!!!
Last￼ night a trick-or-treater came to our door and I swear she was about 72 1/2 years old. I was mad. “Trick-or-treating is for kids, lady”, I said. I really ripped her a new one. she began to cry. Just then a much younger woman came running to the door, saying “You jerk, she’s only … More Who Are You???
I feel completely responsible for the plague. Yes the black plague. Now that we know what time travel is possible after so many movies have proved it, I could’ve gone back in time and killed the source of the plague just as it was beginning. Curse you Doc Brown! Wait a minute! There’s still time! … More Avoid It Like The Plague!!!
In my business we prefer to be paid by cash. However, some clubowners prefer to pay by check. So many times I have heard them say, “I’ll cut a check for you.“ I don’t need a check cut in half. Even if I tape it together it’s still gonna look suspicious. I don’t need that … More Don’t Destroy My Check!!!
My wife bought me a new coat for this winter and told me it was reversible. I tried reversing it once but it’s just too hard to try to zip up the back instead of the front. There are a couple of reversible items that I like. I really do have a reversible coat but … More That Coat Is Hideous!!!