I first met ‘Dad’ about 21 years ago when I began dating his daughter, my beautiful wife Heather. He was working out of town for quite some time so by the time this meeting occurred, Heather and I had planned to marry. We met at a restaurant and had a great conversation. Internally, I’m not … More A Tribute: Scott Kay Roundy, My Father In Law
Heather and I approved a bill that will keep our house running for three more months. That was close! I had to agree to relinquish the remote control and stop telling dumb jokes (AKA my act) while she will do nothing different. I’m the first to admit that Heather runs the marriage, although she doesn’t … More We Can’t Afford It!!!!
After my year end review one time, my boss told me what my pay raise was. He told me to keep it confidential. I said, “No problem with that. I’m just as ashamed of it as you are.” Like most entertainers, I had day jobs in the beginning of my career and again toward the … More Seriously??? You Call This A Raise???
I don’t understand the big deal about sharing classified documents. Our local newspaper has been publishing classified information for decades. Lately there have been a rash (strange use of the word, yeah?) of thieves calling to meet up with and buy the merchandise someone has advertised and then robbing them at gunpoint when they arrive. … More That’s Classified!!! Don’t Read It!!!
Heather’s birthday is coming up soon. Last year I asked her what she wanted. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than a Cuisinart!” So I got her nothing. Bad move. Taking what people say literally can be very dangerous. Especially your wife and/or mother in law. Each have a tendency to be pretty sarcastic … More I’m Such An Idiot!!!
To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack, I took my friend horseback riding. He had never done it before and freaked when his horse took off. He yelled, “How do I get it to slow down?!” I yelled, “Bet on it!” I’ve known a couple of people in my life who … More How Do I Stop This Thing???????
If I were going to have a service animal, I would choose a skunk. That way, on a plane, boom! The whole row to myself. Skunks are like women. They are beautiful creatures until you tick them off. Then you need to run for cover, fast. The wrath of an angry wife can be quite … More Ahhhh!!!! A Skunk!!!