Heather and I were at a local diner which was a mess. We wiped all of the crumbs off and told the waitresses we just wanted coffee. Heather said, “Will you make sure the cups are clean?” The waitress returned and asked, “Which one of you wanted the clean cup?” I’m sure we’ve all had … More This Place Is Disgusting!!
I think I’m going to start a new gang. I’ll call it The Blips, a cross between the bloods and crips. We’ll have leather jackets, fake tattoos because the real ones hurt, and do drive by attacks throwing baloney sandwiches. Oh and when confronted with a violent gang, we’ll all play dead. My street name … More Gangland!!!
Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa and DB Cooper all live with me. We talk about all sorts of things. Their adventures, and what it’s like living on the run. I can’t hear or see them, but we have so much fun. I think that the search teams on the TV show “The Hunted” should really show … More I See Alive People… I Think!
Instead of bombing Syria, I think we should bomb Syrup companies who sell sugar free syrup. Clearly ISIS is behind this. I know it’s great for people with diabetes, but man, for the rest of us, full blown Aunt Jamima is the best! Some things that are fat free can be really good. Cheese slices … More
I’m kind of bored being me today, so I’d like to switch lives with you if you are wealthy and have a Learjet at your disposal. Any takers? I think it is pretty normal to get a little bored with your life now and again, isn’t it? Celebrities would like to go unnoticed for a … More Who The Heck Am I????
Something tells me that Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner and Bill O’Reilly are going to start a new community and demand equal rights. The Scumbag Society. Only morons need apply. It turns out that that all three are allegedly serial offenders. Who knew? When you have a lot of hush money at your disposal, I think … More Bill Cosb… O’Reilly
Kim Jung Un, who’s name obviously makes him the offspring of Kanye and Kim, always looks hungry. Send Dennis Rodman to give him a hot dog and a soda laced with antifreeze. Done and done. In fact, he’ll probably ask for more. If anyone deserves the death penalty, it’s this jerk. He has allowed at … More North Korea? I have the Answer!!