Why not scratch someone else’s head if you can’t figure something out? You’ll get the same result and have some fun at the same time. I really have never seen someone scratch their head over a question when the answer eludes them. Yet I have consistently heard it said so often. “He was left scratching … More I’ll scratch your head instead.
What about Bob?? Yesterday, I saw a new psychiatrist. He asked me what conditions I have been diagnosed with. I asked him if he saw the movie ‘What about Bob’. His face turned white and he immediately told me he would be moving out of state in October. I asked him where he was going. … More
I think if I were an Uber or Lyft driver, I would make everyone put all packages in the trunk for ‘safety’ reasons’. Then I would charge $25 per item before I unload them. Cha-ching! Now there’s your tip. If someone called the cops on me. I would say, “Hey, we already made the trip. … More Everything goes in the trunk!
I think wishing on a star is stupid. Some people think it’s romantic but they obviously haven’t thought it through. How would you get there? Someone would have to fly you there in a rocket. That’s very expensive. I don’t have that kind of money. Besides once I got there, what would I wish for? … More Wish upon a what???
Yes, the Echosystem Is really doing quite well. Everybody says it’s not because of too much pollution and plastic. I don’t get these scientists. If I stand in my yard and yell something, it always echoes back. Yet another example of scientific evidence conjured up… Wait, Ecosystem? As you were. The earth is full of … More Everything is just fine!
I’ve heard so many people say, “I can to trust him as far as I can throw him.” This is ridiculous. Why would you want to throw someone to determine their level of trust? I know one thing for sure. If someone threw me, I don’t think I would never trust them again. This concept … More I can’t trust you!
I don’t know why people call their wooden floors hard wood. Who would use soft wood for their floor? That is ridiculous. I think I’ll make my next floor out of balsa wood just to freak people out when each step they take breaks the floor. “You broke my floor, man. Now you must replace … More You broke my floor!!
I saw this written on a container of Drano: Harmful if swallowed. Who would consume Drano? Drano is for pipes, but the metal or plastic kind. If your throat pipes are clogged, you should see a doctor. And then check into a mental institution. There’s something wrong with you. Even if a person can’t read, … More Don’t drink that Drano!
One day bananas look, taste and smell great and the next day, the banana’s toxic fumes will try to kill you. Bananas should not ferment. Children eat them. I don’t think kids should be getting high off of bananas. They also come with stickers attached. I don’t need reading material on my banana. I think … More Don’t eat the bananas!!Don’t eat the bananas!!
I’m learning how to slice food with one of those ‘As seen on tv’ gadgets one finger at a time. I finally threw it away. I’m a bleeder. I don’t think having perfectly sliced cucumbers is worth bleeding out. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. I’ve used the thing three times resulting in … More Somebody get me a tourniquet!