He’s following us!

When my little brother was really young, my mom told us that since he was getting bigger now, we were going to need to move to a different house. I said, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s crawling pretty fast now, he’ll probably follow us.” Last week, although the circumstances were far … More He’s following us!

Pumpkin spice patch

Yesterday I received an invitation to the very exclusive Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte patch. Who knew? It’s underground so it’s impossible to find. I was taken there while blindfolded and left by the side of the road to find a ride home. It was well worth it all to get a fresh Pumpkin Spice Latte. … More Pumpkin spice patch

I broke my foot!!

My foot was severely swollen and extremely painful. I went to my doctor. She took one look and said “gout”. I said, “That’s rude, I just got here.” There is really nothing funny about the gout. It’s incredibly painful and oftentimes requires a crutch or cane to get around. I get it from time to … More I broke my foot!!

A grain of salt??

A friend told me that since I’m a comedy writer, he takes everything I say with a grain of salt. What the heck does that even mean? I’ve never seen him actually pop any salt in his mouth when I’ve been talking to him in the past. And why just one grain? Why not several … More A grain of salt??

Time flies!

65 years ago today I was only 1,131 days away from being born. Where does the time go? Yeah, crazy thought. My parents never even saw it coming. In fact they were so surprised when my Mom found out she was pregnant with me, they picked out a girl’s name. I know! I forget what … More Time flies!

My absence

I’m sorry I haven’t written a blog in a while. My best friend and neighbor passed away suddenly last Tuesday so I haven’t felt like trying to write anything funny. I will resume the blog tomorrow.

Porch Pirates!!

With all of the ‘Porch Pirates’ stealing gifts, I think they should have to dress like a real pirate. Eye patch, gross teeth (although I’m pretty sure most of them already have meth mouth); the works. And when they’re caught, they would have to walk the plank 15 feet high into a kiddie wading pool. … More Porch Pirates!!