I think I know how to determine the length of time between a nano second and a split second. Heather and I were going to dinner and she asked me if her outfit looked good. If I had said yes in a nano second, we would have had a nice dinner and I wouldn’t be … More Yes!! I Meant To Say Yes!!!
Rip tides are awful. They not only try to kill you, they also rip off your swimsuit and any dignity you might have left. At some point you have to get out of the water, buck naked. Rip tide indeed. In my twenties I used to go body surfing. It was really fun until I … More Ahhhh!!! I’m Naked!!!
I mentioned that we finally got snow. An announcement came over Weber State University’s intercom: “If you’re parked on the street, please move your car for the snow plows. “Thirty minutes later there was another announcement: “The twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class.” Snow days were always great … More You Have No Class!!
The day you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, its amazing how many people ruin their careers at company Christmas parties. Years ago I was an executive attending our annual Christmas party. Everything was going well. Great food, great music, a very fun environment. There … More I Don’t Want This!!!
Yesterday the TV cable guy refused to come in the house until I put my two ferocious Toy Schnauzers in another room. Seriously, cable dude? What’s next? He won’t go in the next house because there’s a blood thirsty Yorkie? Wuss. It gets worse. Neither dog bites but one barks at strangers. She’s a rescue … More The Cable Guy Did What???
Modern Family is exactly like The Waltons, except they don’t all live in the same house, they constantly fight with each other and Pa doesn’t work with wood for a living. Um, actually, forget it. They’re not even close. I love Modern Family, the TV show. The characters are hilarious, so you know the writers … More The Family is Coming!? Yikes!!!
My neighbor disappeared. His wife reported he was missing. “He’s, 6 foot 4, dark eyes, wavy hair, very fit, soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The cop said, I know him. He’s 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children.” She said, “Yes, but who wants HIM … More You Found My (gulp!) DNA???