I saw a sign that read ‘Signal ahead”. I told Heather to stop the car about 10’ ahead and began frantically waving down cars. I fired a flare gun. The fire department came and quickly doused the fire started from the gun. I even got a citation! Sweet! I don’t think we can take chances … More Hey!! Watch Out!!!
I have an appointment today so I’m trying both services. Uber and Lyft. Why both? Because I don’t care about the cost and it will be fun for me. I’ll have Uber drive me about a mile and then have Lyft do the same. Then Uber again, etc. Can’t wait! Realistically, I fully expect to … More I’m going to get a Lyft grown Uber today?? Is that legal???
Last night Heather said, “I think we’re a good couple.” I told her that I do too, then asked her what prompted to say that. “She said, I was thinking about stabbing you a couple of days ago but decided not to.” Yikes! Is this what it’s come down to? They should just go ahead … More I Love You For So Much For Allowing Me To Live!!
A valuable lesson last night. Wait to perform assigned duties. If you make the mistake of doing something without being told, looking for ‘What a great husband’ points, DON’T! It’s a trap! Not only will she ignore it, she’ll just give you another assignment! I don’t know what, why or how the female mind works. … More Get Me Out Of Here!!!!
I’m going to start a movement to protest all protests. No matter what the cause, we’ll protest. Even when we’re interviewed by the media and we’re asked why we’re against the cause, our official response will be “What cause?” It’s important to get involved! Just the feeling of an official protest seems to do the … More What Ever You’re Protesting, I Hate It!!!!
The latest trend on Instagram is women posing their feet as ‘Barbie’ feet. Crazy. As if multiple implants and starving yourself isn’t quite enough, now models want feet that resemble Barbie. I have Ken feet complete with big toe nails that look like Brazil nuts. Seriously, since Barbie’s toes point downward to accommodate her shoe … More Sexist!!!! What about Ken Feet????
They have those painting parties where groups of people pay twenty bucks and paint a picture according to instructions. I shake so bad that I was instantly taken down by Homeland Security for attempting to communicate with the enemy. Those places are fun I guess, if you have a steady hand and can paint. I … More I’m Not The Enemy, I Swear!!!!