Yesterday I noticed a missed call on my phone. I didn’t recognize the number so I called back. A woman answered. I told her I was calling because I noticed I had missed a call from her. She said “No one called you from this number. It must have been a wrong number.” What?? I … More What We Got Here Is A Failure To Communicate!!!
I came down with a cold. Then I came up with an idea. It came across as ridiculous to my friend who came over. Sheesh, it’s no wonder when my grades came out I flunked English. Some people say that English is one of the toughest languages to learn. Based on the above paragraph I … More What are you saying????
I think the next person to go to the Space Station should be Colin Kaepernick. Give him a 20 year assignment and they can kick him out when he gets too obnoxious. Take a knee – get butt kicked out to float around for a while. An outer space time out. Wouldn’t that be fun … More We Have Lift Off!!!!
Heather and I were at a local diner which was a mess. We wiped all of the crumbs off and told the waitresses we just wanted coffee. Heather said, “Will you make sure the cups are clean?” The waitress returned and asked, “Which one of you wanted the clean cup?” I’m sure we’ve all had … More This Place Is Disgusting!!
I think I’m going to start a new gang. I’ll call it The Blips, a cross between the bloods and crips. We’ll have leather jackets, fake tattoos because the real ones hurt, and do drive by attacks throwing baloney sandwiches. Oh and when confronted with a violent gang, we’ll all play dead. My street name … More Gangland!!!
Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa and DB Cooper all live with me. We talk about all sorts of things. Their adventures, and what it’s like living on the run. I can’t hear or see them, but we have so much fun. I think that the search teams on the TV show “The Hunted” should really show … More I See Alive People… I Think!
Instead of bombing Syria, I think we should bomb Syrup companies who sell sugar free syrup. Clearly ISIS is behind this. I know it’s great for people with diabetes, but man, for the rest of us, full blown Aunt Jamima is the best! Some things that are fat free can be really good. Cheese slices … More