I have so many seizures that I got a job at Home Depot mixing paint. Anyone with a chronic condition must be able to laugh about it once in a while or it will get to you. My condition causes short term memory loss. Every time we pick out a movie to watch, I pick … More I don’t remember!!
I’m so disappointed. I got all excited to learn that Jerry Day is August 4th this year! I know! Then I find out that it is just to celebrate Jerry Garcia! The guy already has ice cream named after him, so they really want to rub salt in that open wound? Sure, Jerry Garcia was … More It’s Jerry Day!!
When I got the mail yesterday, I inadvertently put the water bill on the electric bill. Needless to say, I was shocked. (Insert rim shot) I love the fact that you can pay a set utility payment year round. I only do it for electricity because I use an electric fireplace in the winter and … More I am shocked!!
I was at a coffee shop recently and asked an employee what the wifi password was. She said “You have to buy a drink first.” I said, “OK, I’ll take a pumpkin spice latte.” After I paid for the drink I asked “Now what is the password?” She said “It’s ‘You have to buy a … More What’s the password???
We played the Christmas version of ‘Clue’ this year. My Mother-in-law killed the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven. Just kidding. She didn’t even touch the holiday dinner. We’ve learned that the hard way. One year, she took the turkey out of the oven and I swear it cried out for help. This … More I have no clue!!
We played the Christmas version of ‘Clue’ this year. My Mother-in-law killed the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven. Just kidding. She didn’t even touch the holiday dinner. We’ve learned that the hard way. One year, she took the turkey out of the oven and I swear it cried out for help. This … More Clue!!
My 10 year old grandson, Boaz, told my son, Eric, that he wanted a cell phone. Eric asked him why. Boaz said he wanted to be able to take pictures. Eric said, “I’ll get you a camera instead.” Boaz asked,”What’s a camera?” Yikes! We don’t think of those things until they happen. This younger generation … More Watch the birdie!!
I’m allergic to alligators. I’m pretty sure that even one bite would probably kill me. People who suffer from food allergies beware! Yesterday my wife and I were about to watch a football game. We decided we needed some ‘football food’ so I ordered from a local restaurant. We ordered two mini cheese burgers, southwest … More I have allergies!!
I think I would rather be a baseball bat than a piñata, because the piñata gets hit pretty hard. When my kids were little, I only bought one piñata for their birthday parties. I don’t mean one for each party, I mean only one ever. Each time a blindfolded kid took a whack at it, … More Stop beating me!!
I hate the word ‘narcissist’ because I didn’t create it myself. I think a real narcissist is difficult to be around because they’re always thinking of themselves and nobody else. I like to hang out with those who always think of ME first and not themselves. I know! It’s not like I’m selfish or anything, … More Me, a narcissist???